Yesterday, I was training on a PRP course with Acquisition, and right at the end, one of the delegates, Nina, took me aside and said quietly, ‘Can I have a quick word?’ I was worried (obviously) that I had done something wrong, there was dissatisfaction from my training. I replied, is everything ok? I was prepping myself for the worst, which was ridiculous as I knew she had a great course, which happened to be the first Aesthetics course she had ever attended after a career of over 16 years as a GP in the NHS. She said, ‘ I just wanted to say you’re a fantastic teacher. You’re really fantastic. ‘

Now, as I’m writing this blog, I am cringing internally. I am worried about how this may appear or read. Will those reading this think, ‘OMG, how big-headed?’ or ‘ Who does Bryony think she is, sharing this stuff?’ I felt compelled to write because I have had a life of not accepting compliments in the interest of being humble, modest, and not a ‘show-off’.

Developing AM Mindset coaching has allowed me to readdress lots of my psychology and mindset, enabling me to pass this on to my community of aesthetic practitioners who yearn to develop a robust and boosting mindset to allow them to turbo-boost their careers and practices. Through this process, I have been made aware of my longstanding mindset as a practitioner or educator and as an adult. Many aspects of my behaviour, thought processes, and mindset stem from a desire to be liked, loved and accepted by the community. One part of this is to ‘fit into the crowd’. I learned this was not who I was through higher education, university and beyond in my dentistry career. I think, in reality, my choice to pursue a career in aesthetics stemmed from a desire to eek closer to my true self, and I have found her.

Back to why taking compliments is quite irking. We are taught in healthcare, or perhaps dentistry, to ask for feedback. Feedback is gained, often positive, and we are expected to read, accept and move on; we are not frequently asked to celebrate our achievements. Perhaps this sense of ‘being better than everyone else means I am more likely to fall when negative feedback comes. It’s true, I used to struggle with criticism; however, as I have become more authentic in myself and my outlook, criticism is as positive as a compliment can be. I have learned that criticism can help mould and develop the person I am and tweak parts of my approach or management to improve my practice. However, complements don’t seem to land the same.

When Nina told me her genuine, fantastic feedback, I said, ‘Yes, I know I am’, batting off the compliment, diffusing it with irony and a hint of sarcasm. In reflection, it’s a massive thing for not only a person you have trained throughout the day to make a comment filled with such positivity but also the fact that she is a trainer for GP trainees and beyond.

What should I have said? Should I have just said ‘thank you’? Or perhaps batted it off again with ‘yes, but I have had lots of experience. Each of these options doesn’t quite hit the mark. But I think the powerful thing for mindset development is about reflection. I can now reflect on this compliment and feedback, which makes me feel proud. I am proud of my achievements; I am pleased to make someone feel empowered with new skills and knowledge that they will take forward to help build a career and clinic that will help develop their life goals.

The above is essential for aesthetic practitioners in general. We struggle with feedback that can be so glowing that we shy away and do not gladly receive it. Perhaps it’s time we reflect on receiving compliments and praise; this will enable us to build a sense of worth, comfort, and steadfastness into our practice and help us perform better, be fearless, and expand our career and clinic further and better.

So, the next time you’re faced with a compliment, don’t shy away or downplay it. Instead, welcome it with open arms. Say ‘thank you’ and take a moment to reflect on what that compliment means to you as a practitioner. Actively embracing compliments like this will make you more comfortable asking for reviews and celebrating yourself and your clinic. It’s a powerful step towards a more positive and empowering mindset.